Where is your wanting taking you?

Photo by Mendar Bouchali on Unsplash

Some astrologers view the North Node as where we’re going and the South Node as where we’ve been. The North Node is also the dragon’s head and the South Node is the dragon’s tail.

It’s also seen as NN = desire, SN = absorbed, learned, completed…i.e., been there, done that.

If we sit with this approach for a moment, then desire is the motivator. It’s what leads the way.

This is also what the erotic carvings on the Khajuraho temples in India allude to, and possibly, according to some feminist readings of the Bible, the red door on many churches. Desire, sexual energy, the life force, life blood—whatever you want to call it, is what leads the way.

Advertisers know this; sex sells.

Desire is what leads us to act. Manifesting is about wanting. Our wanting is what gets us up in the mornings. Motivation is about wanting. The dragon head is the consuming engine, it directs where the body goes. The tail is where waste from what’s been consumed is released and left behind. The golden nugget of knowledge from the learning, the experience, the people, places, things, is what we hang on to.

What we are allowed to want and what we are forbidden from wanting then is a tremendous power. Whoever holds that, holds all future manifestation. Whoever controls our desire holds everything.

The limiting of options and choices is setting guardrails on what can and can’t come into being. We will give you three options and you can want any of those, but only those.

Except that sexuality is an energy. Trying to control it is like trying to rake water into a bowl. The Church (and by “Church” I mean religion) has done this in multiple ways, but most obviously through the control of pleasure. More specifically, women’s pleasure, but really all pleasure. There are certain types that are okay and other types that are definitely not. Happy Pride, by the way.

The trafficking industry profits off the sale of bodies. Generally speaking, it’s women’s and children’s bodies for the use and consumption of male pleasure. This is not just about hoarding resources for the use of the privileged, this is deliberate and calculated consolidation of power.

Religion has known for millennia that life cannot exist without sex. And, if that’s the case, then sex must be rather powerful, indeed. Imagine if we could harness that power? …We would be gods.

The truth, though, is that we are all gods. We have within us the power to create, to manifest, to fashion the world around us according to our imagination. We can create worlds.

That understanding, that awareness of our own capacity, is what the powers that be work night and day to keep from us. When you’re outnumbered, there are a few ways to maintain power and control: one is to restrict access to information (i.e. knowledge is power, so making knowledge accessible to only a few in the inner circle and setting up barriers for everyone else); another is to control hearts, minds, beliefs, and thoughts through things like “culture” and “traditional values”. (You can also use a little bit of violence to help things along, but the rest of the time just the threat of it is enough).

Sex—when we’re thinking about it, in the throes of it, when it’s animating our everyday joy and sensuality—is when we are at our deepest, most intimate, most sacred, raw, open, and vulnerable. It is that dewy, sticky, silvery strand from a spider’s body, connecting us to everyone and everything. To ourselves and to a higher force that creates through us. It is at once the most human part of us and the most sacred part of us.

You relate to sexuality through your body. That is your house of worship.

Wanting is the precursor to all of life. If you can control that, you control everything. If you allow yourself to fully, unabashedly, unapologetically want what you want, you make a clean line to where you’re headed. Or, in the language of self-help, it’s so much easier to manifest. But if you hide or try to cloak what you truly desire with the whole entire geography of your heart—whether it’s work-related, leisure-related, relationship-related, or otherwise, you are literally going to create a mess. And don’t kid yourself, ignoring your own desires blows up not just your own life, but the lives of everyone you love, too.

So, who controls the wanting in your life? Do you know what you want? Do you really? Is it truly what you want from your deepest self, or is what you want a remnant of what you think others want you to want? Or is it your parents’ unlived dreams that live in you as want? Do you want only what’s acceptable, or is there a deeper, more threatening want in there?

What is your relationship to this most sublime of gifts…of powers? How much genuine wanting, from the deepest, most essential part of you, is being infused into your work, your play, your life choices?

In the light of this new moon, I hope you do some of that examining. None of us have to act on all desires and wants. But knowing what they are, in their barest, most pristine form, is frighteningly close to knowing our own truest Self.

Happy Summer Solstice, all. Happy Juneteenth. Happy Father’s Day. Happy Sacred Masculine. Happy honoring the active and energizing principle in yourself and in the Universe.